


mercy

by kinkymagnus



Series: tumblr prompts [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: :)))), Bottom Magnus Bane, Communication, Gentle Dom Alec Lightwood, Good Boyfriend Alec Lightwood, Light Angst, Lorenzo Rey is an asshole, M/M, Porn with (small amounts of) Plot, Porn with Feelings, Safe Sane and Consensual, Safewords, Smut, Sub Magnus Bane, They love each other so much, Top Alec Lightwood, Traumatized Magnus Bane, inspired by anon on tumblr, mlm author, sad & sweet, written in three hours because i couldn't stop thinking about this ask
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-12-07 12:47:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18235112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinkymagnus/pseuds/kinkymagnus
Summary: After what happened with Lorenzo, Magnus doesn't want to beg or be at anyone's mercy.Alec finds this out at the worst time possible.





	mercy

**Author's Note:**

> the ask: "Do you think that Magnus having to ask (beg) Lorenzo for help has an impact on Malec's sexual relationship? Like Magnus suddenly feels uncomfortable asking Alec what he wants or feels uncomfortable being submissive? And Alec having to comfort him and trying to make him feel at ease again?"

Magnus trembled in his arms, moaning as Alec slid a little deeper into him.

The angle was perfect—Magnus was sat on top of him, grinding his hips down so that Alec’s cock went deep into him.

Magnus still wasn’t ready to submit fully in bed—lately, his life had been so out of control, and then with the loss of his magic, he had felt completely powerless. But this… this was the perfect amount.

Riding Alec, controlling the pace, but still allowing Alec to dominate him a little, to hold him in place or slam up into him, to hold him close and fuck him.

Alec could still tease him and occasionally take control, but Magnus felt less helpless, less powerless.

And that was perfect.

Or so he thought.

He felt Alec’s hand close around his cock, stroking him slowly.

“A- _ah…_ Al-alec… I’m close,” Magnus gasped out. He bent his head to rest on Alec’s neck, panting as his hips rocked on his boyfriend’s large cock.

Pleasant heat rushed over him as he got closer and closer to his orgasm. His hips stuttered, caught between thrusting into Alec’s hand and rocking back onto his cock.

He moaned as Alec continued to stroke his cock, tingling pleasure building and building—

But then.

A pressure around the base of his dick, staving off his orgasm.

Magnus rocked his hips desperately, to no avail.

“You’re doing so well,” Alec praised, voice a low murmur. “Come on, sweetheart… do you want me to let you come?”

“ _Please,”_ Magnus moaned. “Yes, Alec, _make me cum.”_

“Beg for it,” Alec said. It was a teasing command—confident, sure Magnus would beg.

And it wasn’t—any other time, Magnus would have enjoyed it. Would have shamelessly begged for Alec to fuck him harder, to stroke him, to let him cum.

He enjoyed it, enjoyed submitting during sex, and he _trusted_ Alec.

Normally, it didn’t feel humiliating (beyond the occasional light tingle of embarrassment that only added to the pleasure, knowing Alec would never judge him).

But now when his cheeks flushed with heat, it wasn’t overheated pleasure or even him being flustered.

It was humiliation, feeling small and pathetic.

Lorenzo had made him beg. He’d been… completely powerless.

He didn’t… he didn’t want that feeling again.

Maybe not ever, but—so soon? While the pain and embarrassment were so fresh?

He… didn’t like it. It didn’t feel good.

“I…” was all Magnus could get out, his throat closing. He should say the safeword. He should just… say it.

But he was being ridiculous, wasn’t he? This was stupid, Alec wasn’t Lorenzo, he could trust Alec, Alec didn’t want to humiliate and hurt him, didn’t want to break him.

Alec wanted to make him feel good. Alec thought—for good reason—that Magnus liked this, wanted this, and normally, Magnus _would._

He was being _stupid,_ just _say it,_ just do what he wants—

He was jerked back to the present by warm hands on his face.

“Magnus?” Alec asked, concerned. Alec was still inside him, but neither of them were moving—there was no sign of that firm command on his face, no signs of dominance or control beyond one arm wrapped around him.

But it didn’t feel suffocating or constricting, just comforting. There was no physical constraint, just safety. But the—the begging—

“Magnus, are you okay?”

“I don’t—” Magnus choked. “I can’t… don’t ask me to…”

Alec seemed to catch on, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. “It’s okay,” he said, “It’s okay, sweetheart, you don’t have to beg. You’re in control here, alright? What do you want to happen next?”

Magnus shuddered. The cock inside him still felt—good. It all felt good. And with Alec’s voice so warm and caring and soft, the gentle hands on his body comforting. He felt calmer, panic dying down.

“Do you want to stop? We can just watch a movie, take a shower?”

“N-no,” Magnus said, taking a deep breath. “I—I’m sorry. I just… panicked, a bit. I don’t think I’m—ready for that.”

Alec didn’t look upset, just understanding. “Okay,” he said. “Do you want to…”

Magnus leaned in, kissing him gently. When they pulled apart, Magnus breathed, “Please make love to me.”

He felt a little cheesy, desperate, but Alec’s eyes lit up and he smiled, kissing him again.

“I can do that,” he promised against his lips.

His arms wound around Magnus and he kissed him deeply, shuffling on the bed to begin to change their positions.

Magnus moaned as Alec’s cock shifted inside him, but then Alec pulled out.

He gasped at the loss of fullness to clench around, but Alec gently rolled them over to lay Magnus on his back.

“Is this okay?” Alec asked, leaning over him. “Can I take care of you?”

“As long as you fuck me,” Magnus said breathlessly.

“I can do that,” Alec said, grinning.

He retrieved the lube and quickly coated his fingers, slipping two into Magnus at once.

Magnus jerked slightly at the cold, but soon was back to moaning as Alec fingered him and made sure he was thoroughly lubed up after their short break.

Alec littered kisses up and down his thighs, making sure to prepare him quickly.

“I promise no teasing,” he said, slipping another finger in.

Magnus let his head fall back, enjoying Alec’s ministrations.

Three fingers thrust in and out of him, scissoring and stretching his walls.

But before Magnus could even begin to get frustrated—he was already prepared, damn it—Alec was withdrawing and positioning himself.

Alec looming over him, face to face with him, cockhead pressed against his hole… god, it was good.

“Kiss me,” he breathed.

Alec leant down and kissed him without question, and in the same moment, he thrust into Magnus in one smooth movement.

Magnus cried out, lips parting and allowing for Alec’s tongue to slip in.

Alec began thrusting in and out right away, hips rolling as he fucked him deeply and steadily.

He broke the kiss to change the angle and fuck him harder, choosing to kiss up Magnus’s neck instead of his lips, leaving Magnus free to scream with pleasure all he wished.

Magnus moaned and whimpered with every thrust, rocking his hips into it.

It felt so good, and it—Alec wasn’t pinning him down, wasn’t controlling him, wasn’t asking him to beg or submit. He was just making Magnus feel good, kissing him and fucking him and just… doing what he wanted. Taking both pleasure for both of them.

He felt Alec’s hand close around his cock again—but this time, he didn’t go slow or ask Magnus for anything. His hand was fast and skillful, working Magnus over quickly and efficiently.

Alec licked and sucked at his neck, leaving a trail of hickeys as he fucked him, stroked him, overwhelming him with pleasure.

“Cum for me,” Alec said in his ear.

It wasn’t quite an order, but not quite a request, either.

Whatever it was, Magnus wasn’t really thinking about it, because moments later his vision was going white as a powerful orgasm ripped through him.

Alec held him through it as he shuddered and clenched around him, following him over the edge soon after.

Magnus distantly felt Alec groan and thrust into him, stilling as he emptied himself into Magnus’s ass.

Alec gave him a short, messy kiss, before pulling out. Magnus gasped slightly at the sudden emptiness, the warm rush of cum dribbling from his sloppy hole.

“You good?” Alec murmured in his ear.

“Fantastic,” Magnus sighed happily. Alec smiled and leant down to press a quick kiss to his lips, before rolling over to lay beside Magnus.

“We should probably clean up,” Alec said.

Magnus groaned. “We’ll get up in a few minutes,” he said. “I’m comfortable.”

He snuggled back into Alec, letting his eyes close, enjoying the warmth of his body.

“…hey, Magnus?”

Magnus murmured in acknowledgement.

“…Do you wanna talk about it?”

Magnus frowned, but he didn’t open his eyes. “…I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I… it’s not important.”

Alec rolled on his side, looking at him with warm, concerned eyes. “It’s important to me,” he said.

Magnus didn’t say anything, just glancing down.

“I want to know so I don’t do it again,” Alec said. “I don’t ever want to hurt you, or scare you, or make you uncomfortable.”

“I wasn’t—I wasn’t scared. Or hurt.”

“But you were uncomfortable?” Alec said gently.

Magnus’s lips twisted. “I…” he sighed, leaning into Alec and snuggled against him. “It just reminded me of Lorenzo,” he finally admitted. “I know—I know you aren’t—like _that,_ ” he rushed, glancing up at him as if he was afraid Alec would be offended, “I just—I’m not ready to feel… it was…” he made a noise of frustration.

Alec’s hand rubbed up and down his hip soothingly, a small comfort.

Magnus turned so that his face was half-pressed against Alec’s chest, closing his eyes and just _breathing_ for a second.

“…He made me feel helpless,” he said at last. “Humiliated. He made me _beg._ And I know—I know that’s not what you wanted. Normally, I would have loved that, I would have enjoyed it. And I _do_ trust you. But just—what he did is still fresh. I don’t want… forced submission like that, or begging. Even just roleplay and teasing.”

“Okay,” Alec said simply. “I won’t. Do you want to be more in control? Try playing dom, or topping?”

“No, no more than usual, just… I don’t want to go that far. For now. I’m not saying _never again,_ just… not for now.”

“Okay,” Alec said again, and his face was so soft and understanding that Magnus just wanted to curl up in his arms and let Alec hold him forever.

He was so tired. Just exhausted. He was drowning, and he felt so helpless. He wished he could hide away from the world in the safety of the arms of the man he loved.

“Thank you,” he said quietly. “For understanding. For not pushing.”

It was a relief, that this didn’t—bother Alec. Didn’t make him angry.

Magnus knew that this, too, was illogical, and Alec would never be angry at Magnus for not wanting to do something in bed, or for denying him sex in any form.

But past insecurities and old hurts welled up so easily, especially these days when so many bad memories had been dredged up and shoved in his face.

Alec sighed, squeezing his arms gently around Magnus as if he could protect Magnus from pain by holding him just a little tighter.

“I’d never push you on something like this,” he said. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I know,” Magnus sighed softly against his chest. “But it’s still nice.”

“I love you,” Alec said. “So much.”

“Love you, too,” Magnus mumbled.

Alec stirred, gently pushing himself up, Magnus still leaning heavily on his chest.

“We should probably get cleaned up,” he said.

Magnus let out a breath, but pushed himself up as well, hands planted on either side of Alec.

He pulled himself up, straddling Alec—he let out a breathy little sigh as he felt a little cum trickle out of his hole—and leant down to kiss him, eyes fluttering shut.

Alec hummed into it, hands coming up to support Magnus’s body in his lap, deepening the kiss.

But after a minute, he reluctantly pulled away. Magnus’s lips chased his, but a gentle hand on his chest stopped him from leaning closer.

“Come on,” Alec said, smiling at Magnus’s adorable pout. “The sooner we get freshened up, the sooner we can come back to bed together.”

“We could take a shower,” Magnus suggested innocently. “Or a bath.”

Alec tipped his head in consideration. “We could do that,” he agreed.

Magnus pressed one last kiss to Alec’s lips before climbing off him, groaning slightly as he stretched, feeling the lingering soreness.

He practically sauntered off to the bathroom—still naked and very much showing off.

Alec wasted no time going after him.

 


End file.
